Don’t Start a Blog ( H/T to @ReelBigFish )

To personally kick off my Social Brand Forum 2013 experience, I thought I’d take a cynical/satirical stab at bringing a decade old Ska Rock song (yes, I still listen to RBF consistently) into 2013 relevancy with just a few minor tweaks.

Without further ado, to the tune of Don’t Start a Band by Reel Big Fish, here is:

Don’t Start a Blog

Don’t start a blog
Nobody wants to hear
Nobody understands
Don’t start a blog
You’ll be so disappointed that it was nothing like you planned
Don’t start a blog
Oh Yea Ah Ah

I hate to ruin the magic
I hate to kill the dream
But once you’ve been behind the scenes well you’ll know just what I mean
You might think that’s its cool to own a URL
And mark up HTML till your fingers swell
But no one shows up and your page-views suck
Nobody cares, there’s no social shares

No SEO will work for you
And your RSS subscriptions will suck too

Don’t start a blog
Nobody wants to hear
Nobody understands
Don’t start a blog
You’ll be so disappointed that it was nothing like you planned
Don’t start a blog
Yea Ah Ah
’cause you wont get paid
Or syndicated

And even if you make it
All the way to Blog World 10
I don’t think you could take it
All the bullshit and the spin
Everyone’s so fake when they Tweet your posts
It’s their Klout score they care about the most
And the business end will turn every friend
To an enemy oh you will see

They’ll turn their backs and they’ll be gone
Faster than can you say ‘what did I do wrong’

Don’t start a blog
Nobody really cares
Nobody understands
Don’t start a blog
You’ll end up signing your life away working for the man
Oh Yea Ah Ah

Your message will get lost
You’ll get double crossed

And if you think that the joy of writing
Will keep you going through the years
Wait till you’re poor and frustrated
And the fun just disappears
Nobody cares what you have to say
And no ones gonna read it anyways

Your blog roll will bring you down
And it’ill kick you while you’re on the ground

Don’t start a blog
Don’t even try
You will regret it yeah
Don’t start a blog
You’ll be so disappointed that it was nothing like you planned
Don’t start a blog
Oh Yea Ah Ah

So just give up now
I’ll show you how

Don’t start a Blog [x4]

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